So I finally got round to filming my first splits blog. It's nowt special, just so you can actually see where I'm starting this journey from. It may seem like I'm pretty close to the floor already BUT I have been this close for a good long while now and it's the hardest push! It is also mighty painful. So here I am, a bit sweaty and dishevelled but meh! 

So this is where it begins. . .where it will end no-one knows (but hopefully in the splits!). If you want to try this at home make sure you are properly warmed up before you go sliding your feet as far away from each other as it is possible to get. Or you may end up with a nasty groin injury, I've sure had my share! I will be showing some stretches and methods I've been using to help along the way in my next blog. All helpful comments totally welcome, I'm open to suggestions. Please also feel free to share your experiences of trying to get bendy. I've been at this trying to get bent lark for two years, it's a lonely old slog. Tatty bye for now, I shall return in a few weeks with further news of my crotch's proximity to the floor, I bet you can't flippin' wait. 

Helloooo! So my latest news is. . . (drum roll please). . . I have a website! It's only taken me three years to get round to doing it (um, yeah, well I've been working hard on some amazing costumes in that time)! 

I guess what's really kicked me into gear is being accepted to be part of the London Burlesque Festival. I've always known I needed more of an online presence but now I have my own profile page on the website and folks, I need your help to look popular! If you could be ever so kind as to give me a like on this page (only if you actually like me of course, there's no need to lie) then perhaps I can make it into a "One to Watch" which would be most awesome! Just click here http://londonburlesquefest.com/lbf-2013-performer/velma-von-bon-bon to give me a boost!

I am also setting myself a new challenge. Since I am performing alongside Catherine D'Lish on the 17th of May in the Sexy Circus Sideshow at the London Burlesque Festival, I really wanted to give my monkey routine a bit of something extra to finish on so. . . . I'm going to attempt to end it in the splits!

Now, I cannot do the splits, I have been trying to do the splits for well over a year to no avail. But now my friends, now is the time to start a video blog of my attempts to crack them! Anyone wishing to join me in this challenge, please join away and let me know how you're getting on. Alone we can be perhaps a little bendy, but together, together my friends we can be PROPER BENDY!!!! Raaaaarrrgh!!!! If you're with me say Aye! 

Please stay tuned for post number one. I will gladly try out any suggestions people may have (just comment on this blog), no matter how silly. In fact, the sillier the better, life is for laughing.